decisions

The process has really taught me how important boundaries are.

My MO is to try to sweep in and save everyone and everything. I do the research, make the calls, take the notes, present my findings.

I finally decided I'll spend a set, short amount of time doing research when mom asks me to (which is rare). I learned this because mom knows it all/has her own set of facts.

Today I presented to her info on the only 2 secure skilled nursing facilities anywhere nearby, along with her transportation options since she's legally blind. One is in the town my brother lives in. That town also has a better transport system. 

She'd have to move in with my brother - and his wife and his 2 teenaged children and their assorted pets  (which I doubt she'll want nor do).

The other is nearer me, but still 40 minutes from me. No male beds as of this morning. There's transportation but she doesn't believe it. Yep.

I ended the call by reminding her it's her and my brother's decision. I'm all but refusing to give any input. Yeah, I'm being pissy.

Biggest problem is she's still in denial. One day she says she can't take care of him. Next she only needs some help. Then he'll have a lucid thought and she's back to her normal life when dad didn't have dementia.

Finding myself really angry since Saturday at everything and nothing.

xora