birthdays and such

Feeling my feels today. My birthday. Trying to focus on the good things. 

Did hair this morning for sweet long time clients who are friends and they got balloons, cards. Love them a lot. Daddy was able to sing happy birthday to me. I let voice mail take the call so I'll have it forever.

I think about everything else and I feel ridiculous having any bad feelings at all. I don't know - maybe that's normal.

Today mom has again decided she can't take care of dad. She had to hide all the knives because he's seeing people trying to break in. He came at her with one but she was able to take it from him somehow. His worst hallucinations and paranoia are at night but today was cloudy so I guess he thought it was nighttime. (This is known as 'sundowner syndrome' and is common in dementia.)

Discovered my brother called a place while dad was in hospital about taking him, but D had already looked into places nearby and the only one with secure memory care is further away. She doesn't remember we'd already told her about all this (or she never wanted to hear it).

I guess when a loved one has dementia it eclipses all else. It all fucking sucks.

xora